For the 8-Year Old From 1982 in All Of Us
GI Joe: Explosion (or whatever it’s called) is a movie about The Rock in tight shirts. I imagine if you are that humongous it would be hard to find shirts that fit but good lord does the guy shop at Baby Gap? There are some other Joes and Cobras named HoodRat, Skank and Storm Cloud or something but (more…)
A Wizard of Oz prequel, just what we always wanted
It’s now painfully clear when Disney executives get bored they pitch prequels, reboots and rehashes (because original ideas, who needs em?) Oz the Great and Powerful is the latest in a string of these lazy ideas. What gave many in the internet film nerdery hope was the attachment of Evil Dead Director Sam Raimi. THE MAN MADE The Evil Dead. Surely he can save us from another CGI-laden, Johnny Depp dancing monstrosity! Right? (more…)
Hey kids, you like Oscars?
Sometimes it takes an out-of-touch group of (mostly) old white men to remind us that there is better art in the world. Other times it doesn’t…but most of the time it helps to have a group of old white men. But still each year we gather around our television to watch the same cavalcade of stars strut down (more…)
Die Hard…and never come back.
How do I put this lightly, A Good Day to Die Hard is a stunning abomination. It derails so quickly and efficiently, I was left to wonder: does Bruce Willis really need work this badly? Being overloaded with such copious amounts of crap will do that to a person. It’s maddening to recount this movie considering the most redeemable aspect is its unintentional porn title – but I’ll do my best. (more…)
This has been a great year at the movies. If I could have included 15 titles on this list I would but alas I am on a word count. Thank you everyone for reading this year and cheers to a great 2013 to come! (more…)
When people say, “let’s go see the new Tarantino movie,” it’s a qualifier but it’s also a statement of genre. It’s like saying, “the new Western,” or “that new romantic comedy.” Quentin Tarantino is his own genre. His combination of visceral violence, humor, homages to exploitation cinema and cameos is always completely unique. His new film Django Unchained falls squarely into this (more…)
The Hobbit falls just short…pun intended.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is shiny. It’s kind of like staring at your neighbor’s house that has way too many Christmas lights. It’s beautiful for a while but eventually you just want to go to sleep. This isn’t a total indictment of Peter Jackson’s new epic, rather a tepid warning. This is a long, ponderous picture that throws the kitchen sink at you. It’s a shame they couldn’t have thrown more character development at us too. (more…)